Tuesday, January 13, 2015

How to Pick Your Future-Son-in-Law

Kokomo Jo played Life a month or two ago and promptly announced her future husband when she added his blue peg to her car. He's a real person. He's ten years her senior. He's probably one of the few young men I'd even allow her to entertain such an idea with. I'm not certain he was impressed with her four-year-old (now five-year-old) sense of permanency. But she wasn't crushing. She was matter-of-fact. And she told me later she picked him because she knew Daddy liked him.

Sigh. If that would only ALWAYS be her definition of choosing a young man.

Yes. I am a mother. Who thinks about these things.

Does anyone think I'm weird? I mean, Kokomo Jo really IS only five years old. And it isn't like she's got a personality that crushes on boys. That idea hasn't even crossed her mind yet. Marriage is just a practical part of her future and right now anyway, she'll address it in a game of Life with common sense.

But she won't always. No. One day that boy will cross her path, turn her head and then BAM! Dating will enter our home. All when she's 32 and barely even ready. Right? No one deserves her. She is my treasure. Mine. ALL MINE. But since there is the inevitable fact she might not share that

So I've concocted a fool proof way to pick my future son-in-law.

  • Teach my daughter to be a woman of faith. 
    • It's not always that simple, as I realize her own personal will factors into this. But a sensitivity to things of the Lord and following her Savior will also lead to a sensitive heart to see those same traits in her future man.

  • Encourage my daughter's bond with her Daddy.
    • Because if she is close to him, no other man will measure up unless he has her daddy's qualities

  • Show my daughter she is enough
    • I think sometimes we inadvertently teach our daughters that marriage is a necessary part of their life. I want her to learn that with a union with Christ, she can do anything He asks of her, and her independence as a woman of God is enough. A husband is a blessing, but not a necessity.
  • Help her speak her mind
    • I have a strong-willed daughter. (I know, shocking, right?) But I love it. I cherish the fact she has strong opinions and beliefs and while I'm helping direct and form them now, in the future, I want to help her speak her mind, be a strong, capable woman, and know when to submit and when to lead.
Ok. So maybe it's not fool-proof, but it's a start isn't it? I mean, if some guy is going to come along and take my daughter to the front of the church, then that man better be as solid gold as that ring!

Do you have thoughts on your future son-in-laws (or current?)


Jaime Wright - 

Spirited and gritty turn-of-the-century romance stained with suspense. Youth leader. Professional Coffee Drinker. Works in HR and specializes in sarcasm :) - Represented by: Books & Such Literary Agency

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  1. Great post. I think to remember that her first love is Christ.

  2. Love this post, Jaime!! All such wonderful points. Having sons, my points were somewhat different. Just wish I had been more spiritually mature then, such as Julie Lessman was when she started praying for her children - and their prospective mates, as well - from birth.

  3. Jaime, this is such an important part of parenting, and one that leaves us shaking in our boots, humbling ourselves on our knees asking for God's grace and guidance both for our leading, and for our children's hearts. Great thoughts.

  4. With my son getting married in July, my thoughts are about him and his fiancé. M

  5. I've prayed for both my children's future spouses since they were born. My son has chosen a wonderful girl that we all love. She's all about the wedding planning and I am all into that! They are both Christians and that's a wonderful start! My husband saw her dad in a store the other day and he told him that he loves our son and what could be better than that?


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