Monday, December 22, 2014

Christmas Regrets

I remember sitting on the stairs with my Gramma Wright every Christmas singing carols ... "where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleighbells in the snow ..." Gramma spent every Christmas with us until I was eight. She jumped clear out of her skin when our dog's nose touched her hand, she smiled at everything I said as though it was the most genious piece of information she'd ever heard, she gave the best Christmas presents ...

Until I turned nine. That Christmas she was in a nursing home and her present confused me. It was a plastic doll face with crocheted blue and white bonnet and three blue and white crocheted hot pads buttoned to its neck. I remember opening it at home, Gramma wasn't there, and staring at the ugly, strange gift and feeling disappointment. Last year Gramma had given me a plastic mixer that actually mixed eggs if you turned the handle fast enough. This year ... needless to say, this greedy, ungrateful little nine yr old donated it to the local Good Will.

I would give anything to get it back. It would hang in hallowed spot on my kitchen wall, plastic doll face and all. You see, it was the last Christmas gift I would ever get from my precious, best friend in the whole wide world. It was the best she could give. I found out later, shortly after she died, that the only place she could shop was the nursing home craft store. It was the closest she could come to getting me a doll. At nine, I cried, hard, wrenching tears. Gramma had passed and I tossed her last act of sacrifice away.

Today, twenty-eight years later,  I know Gramma would forgive me. It's Christmas when I most miss her, it never goes away ... the missing. I'm sure she's happy though, where the treetops glisten year round. Someday I'm going to find me a dollfaced hot pad and buy it - just to remember the love shared one Christmas from a passing Gramma to her granddaugher. I love you Gramma.


Jaime Wright - 

Spirited and gritty turn-of-the-century romance stained with suspense. Youth leader. Professional Coffee Drinker. Works in HR and specializes in sarcasm :) - Represented by: Books & Such Literary Agency

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  1. Tears here, Jaime - today is my maternal grandmother's birthday, she has been celebrating it in heaven for a number of years now, However, we always used to celebrate birthdays together when she was alive, her birthday being 12/22 and mine 12/25.

    So many fond memories of my grandmother, just as you have with yours. I'm sure there were things I did that she wasn't always pleased with but always forgave me just as yours would re: the hot pad incident. Because that's what grandmothers do - a lesson learned and command from the One who forgave and loves us the most!!

  2. Yeah, and tears here, too.

    I'd offer one thought, though, and that is to use this memory as a spur, a special incentive to pass on your grandmother's love to someone who has none.

    Make that your "doll in a hallowed place"; a scroll or record to which you add a yearly entry, a gift given for Gramma.

    I think it may help.

    God bless you. And I am still in tears.

    1. Awww what an awesome idea!!!!! THANK YOU!

  3. Wow! This is so precious and I really don't have words.

    1. She is the best Gramma ... can't wait to see her again!


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