Wednesday, June 19, 2013

How to Lose Like a Loser

The day just started out wrong. It was a bad hair day for one, my t-shirt was too small but I wore it anyway and sported those love handles like a pro, and my weight watchers diet had me hungry for an egg mcmuffin which I could have ('cause it's weight watchers) but then I'd use my daily allotment of points and be hungry in an hour.

I drove to work confident though. I was confident in one thing: today the Genesis writing contest from ACFW that I semi-finaled would come to fruition and I'd know I'd lost.

Now all those stories of keeping your chin up, dreaming on stars (which are really burnt out orbs so what does that tell you?), and being confident--it's a bunch hooey. When you know, you know. Really. You just know.

Jessica Patch started it when I received my line edits back (after I'd entered the contest) and realized I had the punctuation and grammar talent of third grader. I don't blame Jessica. I blame my mother. I was homeschooled. I knew I'd get docked and docked hard for that. And my opening line was cool, complimentary in fact, but boring. Yep. That wouldn't impress hard to please judges.

And then there was the plain and simple fact that...I was okay with losing. Not in a defeatist sort of way. I mean, if you follow my FB page you know I was practically having panic attacks waiting for a phone call that I finaled. But I was really ok with losing.

I came in to writing for two reasons: I love it--passionately. I want to do it for God's glory. No. I don't want to preach a sermon in my book. I don't have a God-given message heralded from the sky. I don't even believe God told me I'd be published someday.

I just want to live my life for His glory because without Jesus, it's all worthless.

So even though the day started out rotten, I wasn't really being a pessimist as much as I was just content to be where God took me.

The morning turned out to be amazing. I had coffee with a sweetheart of a girl, Jill, who practically lived at our house through her highschool days and is now ... cough ... married. (I'm really NOT that old). Nate (my husband) joined us and it was there I received the email that I was a loser. A  few tears, sure, but overall, I left that coffee shop with blessing. My phone started beeping with encouragements from Jessica Patch, Lindsay Harrel, Laurie Tomlinson (those two finaled--so excited for them!), Julie Jarnigan, Gabrielle Meyer, Olivia Newport and my beloved Anne-girl. Even my husband told me he still loved me, even if I was a loser. Sure I drowned any remaining sorrow in piles of ice cream that afternoon, but hey -- we ALL look for excuses to do that!

Can it get any better? To know you're EXACTLY where God wants you to be, in the exact moment, the exact place, with the exact people?

17 comments:

  1. Gotta just love your frank honesty Jaime. Hugs. Taking this journey together is a riot, and I love it. Hugs--raising my coffee mug--here's to you and this fun ride of writing. :)

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    1. Oh, I said "hugs" twice? That should be highlighted. ;)

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    2. No don't highlight it -- that just means I got two hugs this morning! I'll take them! :) <3

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  2. "I just want to live my life for His glory because without Jesus, it's all worthless." Amen, sister!

    Proud of you!

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  3. I love your attitude. I can't wait to see you at conference!

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    1. Ditto!! Still on for Thurs night din-din with me and Anne -- or Anne and I? Blah. Whatever. You get the drift.

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  4. Love your transparency and your heart! And yes, ice cream is always a good thing. ;)

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    1. Lindsay, I'm thinking somehow an ice cream party should be worked into the schedule at ACFW ;)

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  5. Don't forget that you semi-finaled! That means that out of hundred s of manuscripts, your MS caught the judges attention. I've never read a word of your work, but I know your talented and that God has a plan to use your work, all in His timing. Chin up, Jamie, God's smiling on you. :-)

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    1. Oh YEAH! I DID semi final :) lol --- so did you, so back atcha!

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  6. Ditto what Gwendolyn said - HUNDREDS of entries, and you were a semi-finalist!!! That's amazing.

    By the way, A Distant Melody lost in the Genesis. Big time. And I signed a contract for it just a few months later - the exact same version that was in the Genesis. So make sure you submit at ACFW!!!

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    1. Sarah, THANK YOU! And really? you didn't final with A Distant Melody? That's like one of my all time favorites! And, yes, I'm pitching at ACFW and hoping to submit and maybe accosting agents/editors in the elevators too (haven't decided on that last one for sure yet ;) ). HEY WAIT! ARE YOU COMING THIS YEAR?!?!?!?

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  7. Man, I really need to try me this Skinny Cow thing when I'm at conference. Are there different flavours?

    Love ya!

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    1. Love ya back and if I can, somehow, we shall get you Skinny Cow.(really it's not that amazing, it's just a dieter's solution to ice cream cravings)

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