Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Christmas Regrets

I previously wrote this in 2011, but the same feelings revisit me every Christmas ...

I remember sitting on the stairs with my Gramma Wright every Christmas singing carols ... "where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleighbells in the snow ..." Gramma spent every Christmas with us until I was eight. She jumped clear out of her skin when our dog's nose touched her hand, she smiled at everything I said as though it was the most genious piece of information she'd ever heard, she gave the best Christmas presents ...

Until I turned nine. That Christmas she was in a nursing home and her present confused me. It was a plastic doll face with crocheted blue and white bonnet and three blue and white crocheted hot pads buttoned to its neck. I remember opening it at home, Gramma wasn't there, and staring at the ugly, strange gift and feeling disappointment. Last year Gramma had given me a plastic mixer that actually mixed eggs if you turned the handle fast enough. This year ... needless to say, this greedy, ungrateful little nine yr old donated it to the local Good Will.

I would give anything to get it back. It would hang in hallowed spot on my kitchen wall, plastic doll face and all. You see, it was the last Christmas gift I would ever get from my precious, best friend in the whole wide world. It was the best she could give. I found out later, shortly after she died, that the only place she could shop was the nursing home craft store. It was the closest she could come to getting me a doll. At nine, I cried, hard, wrenching tears. Gramma had passed and I tossed her last act of sacrifice away.

Today, twenty-eight years later,  I know Gramma would forgive me. It's Christmas when I most miss her, it never goes away ... the missing. I'm sure she's happy though, where the treetops glisten year round. Someday I'm going to find me a dollfaced hot pad and buy it - just to remember the love shared one Christmas from a passing Gramma to her granddaugher. I love you Gramma.

Do you have a Christmas memory, a special someone you really miss, or a holiday regret?

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Professional coffee drinker, Jaime Jo Wright, resides in the hills of Wisconsin. She loves to write spirited turn-of-the-century romance, stained with suspense. Her day job finds her as a Director of Sales & Development. She’s wife to a rock climbing, bow-hunting Pre-K teacher, mom to a coffee-drinking little girl, and a little boy she fondly refers to as her mischievous “Peter Pan”. Jaime completes her persona by being an admitted social media junkie and coffee snob. She is a member of ACFW and has the best writing sisters EVER!

"The Cowgirl's Lasso", The Cowboy Bride's Novella Collection - Barbour Publishing - COMING MARCH 2016

"Gold Haven Heiress", California Gold Rush Romance Collection - Barbour Publishing - COMING AUGUST 2016


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7 comments:

  1. My Dad has been gone 5 years now. Christmas is just not the same. But I think one of my favorite memories would have to be @ 20 yrs ago. My oldest son was @ 6 and we decided to fly out to ID from NM as a surprise to him and mom. I told him when he asked if we were coming "Don't you think that is quite expensive"? When we showed up he cried he was so happy. Well, Mom did too. Then said I lied. Umm no I didn't lie I said don't you think that would be expensive/ And it was.

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    1. awww what a fabulous memory to cherish!!!

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  2. Spun glass angel hair and bubble lights. Christmas tree 'planted' in a bucket of sand with a gunnysack skirt. Christmas Eve at Ebenezer Methodist Church--a tiny little country church about a mile from my mother's 'home place'. Mittens and sacks of candy given each child from the REAL christmas tree in that church. Chocolate drops with white centers so sweet it hurt your teeth. Striped ribbon candy that you could suck on all day. Childhood memories all crammed together, like sugar plums dancing in my head.

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    1. Isn't it wonderful to have all those memories!?

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  3. Yes I have a AUNT that I really miss.

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  4. Your touching story made me cry and cry - with you, and for you. So touching.....
    susanlulu@yahoo.com

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