Monday, October 19, 2015

The Blank Page and the Mystery of Faith


Every time I look at a blank page and set my fingers on this keyboard, I'm amazed what pours forth.

Somewhere between nothing and something, a mystery happens that presses me onward.

In life, in work, at my day job, mornings are like this. A blank page before me.
Sometimes I stand outside the exam room door, a patient with questions awaiting on the other side...and I feel this same mystery at work. Yes, of course I've trained, studied, and practiced my science. But somehow, when I leave the office at the end of the day...I know it.  Art, mystery, and faith happened today. And you can't measure that. You can't chart that. You can't prescribe it. My left-brained logic-loving self knows this and is secretly happy for the mystery of it.

When I start my day. Whether a blank page, or a at the verge of opening that exam room door to see who sits beyond....my mind wants a prescription for "doing it." Step one. Step two. Step three. Voila.

But faith and mystery aren't like that. People aren't like that.

Even Christ's death and resurrection are reduced to flatness and logical unbelievability when left to the left brain to explain with a formula.
Because God's mystery of being present in that moment of the man-Jesus, and the God-Jesus, is just beyond my comprehension. But I want it. I want to believe. I desperately need to know at the end of my day, that there was never a blank page. There was never a pat answer. There was only a grand, unexplainable mystery of faith and love that happened that day long ago. I need it in every day, in every breath.

Because only then, when I open my mouth to speak, when I set my hands to the keyboard, when I look into the eyes of a child, or a parent, or a grandmother with a cancer diagnosis---only then can I rejoice that He indwells me and I get a mere glimpse of His glory as it passes by. Only then can I lay my head on the pillow at night and breath peace, and wake to a new day.

Matthew 17:20The Message (MSG)
20 “Because you’re not yet taking God seriously,” said Jesus. “The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn’t be able to tackle.”


I can't explain it. But I believe it.
And I will keep setting my hands upon the keyboard.
I will stand ready to open my mouth and trust that somewhere between nothing and something, that His glory will appear and resurrect me...and you.
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Blog post by Anne Love-
Writer of Historical Romance inspired by her family roots. 
Nurse Practitioner by day. 
Wife, mother, writer by night. 
Coffee drinker--any time.
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2 comments:

  1. Beautiful post! I struggle with getting past the formula and into the journey of faith.

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    Replies
    1. I think we all know this well, Caryl! It is why it remains mystery. Because if we knew it any other way, we would claim it was our own strength or wisdom we created.

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