Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Mom Fail

It was a mom-fail sort of night last night. That moment you look back and wonder who that horrid woman is who calls herself a mother? That moment you make your 3 yr old little boy cry and your 5 yr old little girl run from the room in tears.

My day started fine and quickly spiraled into a day of demands. Jaime this. Jaime that. Jaime. Jaime. Jaime!!! And then by the time I left work and headed to a charitable dinner my head was spinning. A few more Jaimes and it was time to get my kids. Daddy was away for the evening so I was going solo. And my cell phone was going off for work. I normally ignore it , but there were some critical problems and I am out of office today. 

Insert a million "Mommy, Momma, and MOMMYs" and I lost it. I did. I had no more energy to give. My brain reached the dry zone of no life left and yet the demands were still there and very real. 

Then Peter Pans bedtime snack bar broke in half and he started to cry. "It's just a bar!" I yelled. Yes. I yelled. Sigh. And my sensitive Peter Pan cried so hard he did the whole forget to breathe thing. Meanwhile, my daughter is crying on the couch and I realized the day had robbed me of energy and emotion for my own precious children. 

I don't even have a great profound ending to this post. It was just a mom fail of a night finished by composing this post on my phone cause my computer battery is dead. 

Ever feel like the worst sort of human? Yeah. Me too. Sigh.


_______________________________________

Jaime Wright -
"The Cowgirl's Lasso", Coming 2016, Barbour Publishing


Spirited and gritty turn-of-the-century romance stained with suspense. Youth leader. Professional Coffee Drinker. Director of Development & Associate Relations and specializes in sarcasm :)
- Represented by: Books & Such Literary Agency

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12 comments:

  1. Jaime - how well I remember those many years ago when I was sole provider for my family, working more than one job at a time, burning the candle at both ends, leaving my kids with babysitters and daycares for long hours, the guilt of never having as much time with my kids as I felt I should, the fatigue - stress and lack of energy (and yes, some yelling when I was too drained to be in control of my emotions). Children have the innate ability to know when we are stressed, which often causes them stress and resulting misbehavior - however, they also are aware of all the good times when their parents, laugh, play, and show love by giving them undivided attention. They usually rebound quickly from those unpleasant times with a hug, an "I love you", and an apology - it is the parents who are left with a sense of failure and guilt after such an episode.

    I think it is important, in times such as these, that a parent take time - after the kids are in bed - for even a few minutes of devotional, spiritual music, and prayer. This should relieve some of the stress before going to bed and allow he/she to relax and regroup. I also feel it is important, no matter how busy the day is, to find time for just a few minutes of "me" time - to help eliminate so much stress build-up. It's also helpful to frequently reassess priorities in one's life - to determine if there are responsibilities/activities that one may need to be relieved of.
    For many of us - when we're young, raising children, and have more demands on us, a lot of things tend to seem more important than later in life.

    Don't be too hard on yourself - I feel most everyone has been in this situation, from time to time. We're human and imperfect - guilt makes us even more ineffective. God knows your weaknesses and your stresses - even before you do - He understands and forgives and so will your children.

    Love, hugs, and prayers!!

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    1. Thanks Bonnie. Life has taken a turn for the crazies around home this month so I think you're right. Some devos are in order!

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  2. Yup, been there. Done that. And wallowed in the same horrible guilt. I think the best advice I received on this was to always go ask their forgiveness and remind them we love them. Blessedly they are resilient and forgive pretty easily. I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Those kinds of days certainly do drain us! Prayers for peace for you.

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    1. I got some great snuggles the last day or two, so we've made up :)

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  3. His mercies are new every morning.

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  4. Well, you're NOT the worst sort of human. You're human. Period.

    All you did was yell at a child who pressed the last button. He'll get over it. Your love outweighs that, and he'll get over it. So will your daughter.

    I've done the same thing. So has everyone else reading this.

    You're ok. Your kids love you. God loves you.

    And so do we.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/06/your-dying-spouse-23-and-there-is-joy.html

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    1. Wait. this IS humanity? ;) Thanks, Andrew. It helps to know I'm not alone.

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  5. Jaime, even in the rotten moments, I love your honesty. Because we've all been there at some point--on E with a quickly-lit fuse. We would be lying through ridiculous pretense to pretend otherwise. Parenting isn't for the faint of heart. So you feel battle weary--but you are fighting the good fight. And each day is new and fresh with new mercies--albeit a fresh slate of mind where you swear you'll fill it with better self-control every morning--and so many days rearing young children, you feel yourself sliding to "that place" and you hear your voice sounding like "that voice" and wonder how you dreamed it was supposed to be so glorious--parenting. Then they snuggle next to you anyway. Lay their heads against your shoulder. They breath slow and easy, after a long day, their little eyelashes resting on cherub cheeks, and you know somehow, you will get up and do it again in the morning. And He will keep watch over all your comings and goings. These trying days will pass too quickly, and you'll remember only with fondness, their clubby hands in yours, their wiggly bodies against yours, their slobbery kisses and sticky palms. I believe God grants a special sort of grace and mercy for parents of the young. Hang tight. You are making it through!!

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  6. All moms go through this from time to time. You're not alone. Whether we're having a bad day or not, kids can try us sometimes.

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