Friday, January 2, 2015

Book Report: The Secret of Pembrooke Park

Update 1/9/2015: Winner of Julie Klassen's "The Secret of Pembrooke Park" is: Lanna Foley Webb!

Dear Ms. Klassen,

my family has suffered because of you. Dinners of under-cooked garlic potatoes, bedtimes with muttered "hurry-ups", daggers glared at a chatty husband, and a jumpy wife and mother every time a strange creak, howl, moan, or crash breaks the silence of our otherwise un-haunted house.

When I read The Secret of Pembrooke Park I was not expecting it to disrupt my world. I first read Jane Eyre when I was thirteen and I had the time to curl up in a chair and read it from cover to cover. But, you need to take a moment to comprehend that your readership is not comprised of thirteen-year-old youngsters with eons of time stretching before them, disguised in the costume of Growing Up. Nay. We are mothers, housekeepers, career oriented women, and pastors wives. To assume that we will be content reading this Gothic and haunting novel in snippets is highly presumptuous.

So I propose that you try to compose your following novel in far greater sections of boredom. Ones that droll on regarding the nonsensical happenings which drag the story like a horse pulls a plow. I recommend you make your heroines far less captivating and more...dreary. Your heroes with stringy black hair, or no hair, but definitely not the style of a debonair curate, of all things. It is also with much pleading that I request you deign your characters worthy of cottages infested by mice, not ghostly mirages, by a beetle or may-hap a cockroach instead of a family secret that chases your heroine into the depths of the night and sends shivers down her spine.

Dollhouses left as if the child were snatched from their play? Certainly an unfair addition to your prose. Plates and tea cups as if afternoon tea were interrupted by a murderous, scheming ghost? Highly uncouth.

These are the additions of an author seeking to dismantle a normally sane wife and mother. This is the matter I must confess to you, has weighed on my heart and yet I have been tempted beyond what I am able to overcome.

Ms. Klassen, you have joined hands with Charlotte Bronte who engaged a thirteen-year-old in an imaginary world of sinister story and romanticized lore. But again, I implore you, remember I am now beyond the age of thirty and seven. My family--my children--need me. Please remember this when you write again.

Sincerely,

Ms. Wright of Shady Lane

Post Script: Because of the dire nature of this novel, I am forced to part with it in order to spare my family should I be tempted to read again.



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 _________________________________

Jaime Wright - 

Spirited and gritty turn-of-the-century romance stained with suspense. Youth leader. Professional Coffee Drinker. Works in HR and specializes in sarcasm :) - Represented by: Books & Such Literary Agency

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34 comments:

  1. Hahaha...love it! You sure know how to draw a reader in, Jaime! Sounds great!

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  2. Hey Jaime, I loved your post! Julie Klassen is a new-to-me author. I would love to read The Secret of Pembrooke Park! :)

    psalm103and138[at]gmail[dot]com

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    1. Whaaaaaat!??!?! You've never read Julie?!?
      That's your new year's resolution

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    2. I have YOU to thank for introducing me to new authors and getting me out of my suspense genre box..... :)

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  3. Loved your clever and creative post! I haven't yet read any of Julie Klassen's books. Thank you for offering this one.

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  4. Thanks for the giveaway. Haven't read any of Julie's books yet but would love to win this one to read and review.,

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    1. I'm surprised how many haven't read Julie!

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  5. Funny post! I can't decide between The Silent Governess or The Tutor's Daughter as my favorite Julie Klassen book. Thanks for the giveaway.

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  6. GREAT post, what a creative book report!! Haven't had the chance to read all of Julie's books yet, but definitely loved The Girl in the Gatehouse :) Would love to win this one, thanks for the giveaway! Happy New Year blessings to you ladies :)
    Kara
    wman4jcATaolDOTcom

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  7. Dear Jaime, Will take all of the above into consideration. However, I must warn you that I read Jane Eyre as a 12-year-old and continue to watch the various movie versions every year or two, so no guarantees. :) A+ on your book report.
    Fondly, Mrs. Klassen

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  8. I haven't read Julie either, looks like she one I need to get to know..
    dkstevensne AT outlook DOtCoM

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  9. Well, you certainly whet my dull appetite, LOL!! Loved your witty book review!!

    And I'm ashamed to say that I haven't read any of Julie's books, either. Not that I haven't wanted to - I've heard so many wonderful things about her writing - I just haven't had the time to acquire and read all the amazing books I would like to read. So many books and never enough time.

    However, you have sold me on "The Secret of Pembrooke Park" and I will be purchasing a copy if I don't have the good fortune to win one.

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  10. I haven't read The Dancing Master, but I think I have read all of her other books!
    The Girl in the Gatehouse, and The Maid of fairbourne Hall would be my favorites...

    pattymh2000(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  11. I can't pick one because I love them all!!! I guess I would have to pick The Maid of Fairbourne Hall.

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  12. The Tutor's Daughter would be one of my favorite books by Julie Klassen.

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  13. The first Julie Klassen book I ever read was The Girl in the Gatehouse. I thought it was my favorite, until I read The Maid of Fairbourne Hall, The Tutor's Daughter, and The Dancing Master. My favorite is definitely one of those four...I just can't decide! :)

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  14. I honestly can't name a favorite! Love them all!

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  15. I have not read any of Julie Klassen's books before. I saw her mentioned on a Christian Reviewers page on Facebook and then looked her up on Amazon.com. I now have her books in my "to read" pile (which is quite high at the moment). Thank you for a chance to win! Doodlesink@hotmail.com

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  16. I had a similar experience - trying to read the book during our holiday travels. Just couldn't finish so I had a great New Year's Day finishing this great book. It was a delightful way to start 2015!

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  17. I haven't yet read all of Julie's books, but one I really liked was The Tutor's Daughter. The others are on my want-to-read list. I think a couple are waiting on my Kindle.

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  18. The Girl in the Gatehouse - looking forward to reading The Secret of Pembrooke Park

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  19. My favorite book by Julie is "Lady of Milkweed Manor"… martha(at)lclink(dot)com

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  20. Jamie, you're a hoot!!! And Julie is a master storyteller!

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  21. I've read most of Julie's books & loved every one! I think, though, that my favorite may be "The Silent Governess"... I think. ;)
    Thanks for the giveaway! I'm really looking forward to reading this book! :)

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  22. This letter is a hoot! LOL, but I know how she feels. Hard to put down any of Julie's books. This looks like a good one, and I look forward to reading it. Hard to pick a favorite one.

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  23. This is one of the best blog posts I've ever read. LOL! I've never read any of Julie's books, but it sounds like I've been missing out! ;-)

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  24. I haven't read any of Julie's books yet, but they have been on my wishlist! This one looks especially good, and I can certainly relate to your letter! LOL

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  25. تتعدد طرق مكافحة الحشرات ، و يتم ابتكار الكثير من طرق إبادتها يوميًا في معامل الأبحاث و الدراسات العالمية ، نظرًا لكونها تشكل مصدر إزعاج دائم للإنسان في حال دخلت بيته الشخصي مثل المنازل و الشقق ، أو مكان عمله مثل المكاتب و الشركات و الجهات العامة ، من النواحي النفسية و الصحية و المادية ،لأن مجرد رؤية الحشرات تبعث في النفس القشعريرة و الاشمئزاز ،بالإضافة إلى أنها تتسبب في نقل الأوبئة و الأمراض الخطيرة عن طريق مرورها على طعامنا أو أغراضنا ، أو التعرض لبقايا بولها أو بيضها ،كذلك تكلفنا الكثير من المال في سبيل شراء المبيدات و التركيبات المنزلية المحلية الصنع ، مما يشكل عبئًا ماديًا كبيرًا على رب الأسرة ولكن
    مكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة

    تضع حل لمحاربة وابادة الحشرات.في الحقيقة أن التعامل مع الحشرات لم يعد من شأنك بعد الآن فمنذ اللحظة التي قررت فيها الاعتماد على خبراء
    شركة مكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة

    فلم تعد لك علاقة بالحشرات لأنك سوف تتخلص منها بأقصى سرعة ودون رجعة، وذلك لأن الحشرات يا عميلنا العزيز تحتاج لتعامل خاص لتجنب مخاطرها وأضرارها.

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